Have you ever found yourself looking through your fridge or pantry to find something tasty to make yourself feel better? Have you? Then you can count yourself among those who are emotional eaters. And to be honest – most people are to some extent.
Emotional eating is very common. We look for comfort in food, as it gives the satisfaction the quickest. Some prefer foods that remind them of their childhood and warmth (comfort foods), others need sweets (sugar) to get a short term high of dopamine and feel somewhat happy for a moment.
Emotional hunger
There is a difference between physical hunger (tummy growling) and emotional hunger (cravings), which leads to emotional eating.
Emotional hunger usually comes suddenly, it demands certain foods (sweets, pizza, ice cream, donuts – you name it!). Once you start eating, you find it hard to stop, because the hunger is in your mind, rather than your stomach, so it is not sending the satiety cues. This leads to overeating that can make you feel not only sick, but also guilty. In some cases you might want to induce vomitting to get rid of the guilt and heaviness that can be the beginning of eating disorders like bulimia or binge eating disorder.
Causes of emotional eating
The name “emotional eating” somewhat explains itself, doesn’t it? It is tightly connected to our emotions.
Stress is one of the most common reasons people turn to food as comfort. Stress raises hormone – cortisol– levels, which triggers cravings for certain foods (salty, sweet, deep-fried). Stuffing your face with a donut possibly takes your mind off whatever situation you are in for a minute, but sadly doesn’t help sort your problems out.
Boredom is another cause for excessive and unnecessary eating. I sometimes find myself looking through drawers to find something to chew on, when I am home alone and procrastinating. Boredom can go hand in hand with feeling of emptiness or loneliness. Eventually this loneliness and emptiness connects to our mouths, which can be filled and made busy, and thus a little less lonely. Japanese even have a word for it – kuchisabishii (lonely mouth).
Habits or childhood influence play a role too, as we have been maybe taught to see certain foods as a reward for a job well done. You might also crave certain comfort foods for the good memories they bring that could help you get past a rough patch in your life. All of this is not too bad unless it is used in excess.
We might also feel a bit of a social pressure to eat more or eat unhealthy when we are out with friends or family. I am probably not the only one who tends to overindulge when I am out with friends or having a gathering at home. Sometimes you don’t even notice how much you have eaten while snacking continuously, even if it was just a bunch of carrots. It is about quantity here, not quality anymore.
A way out
The first step would be finding the cause of emotional eating. Why are you craving certain foods? In what circumstances? Are you sad, stressed, or maybe annoyed?
To determine the cause, a great tool is a mood diary that tracks binge episodes. This means keeping a notebook where you write down whatever you are feeling when the urge appears, while you are eating, and after it is done. If you don’t have the time to catch yourself before the overeating happens, write things down after: backtrack to the moment you think something made you feel a certain way and pushed you to search comfort in food.
Write down also what it is you ate – what were you craving, to see which emotions demand a certain type of food. This will help you find a pattern.
Once you will have identified the triggers, you will be able to look for healthier alternatives or avoid the trigger entirely.
Choose your alternative
Once you have found your kryptonite – the source of your emotions and eventual binging, look around for other ways to fill up the emotional pit.
First of all – STOP for a minute and check in with yourself before running to the fridge. What is it that you are feeling? Do you really need food to make it better?
If you still decide to go for it – enjoy it. Do not just mindlessly gobble it down. Take your time with the food you have chosen to give you pleasure – make it last longer.
If you manage to stay away from food – dig deeper.
Look for things that could keep you busy and interest you, and could serve as an alternative for food (books, movies, outdoors, dancing, chat with friends, your pet, etc.).
If you feel lonely – call someone you know would make you feel better. Or go out for a walk with your dog or cat (if you have one) – maybe you will meet someone while out and about. And movement makes body and brain happy (win-win situation).
Evaluate certain situations that make you stressed, anxious or depressed. See how you could avoid them.
Maybe there are people in your life that cause you distress that leads to emotional eating. Then – either work on relationship improvement or just leave them out of your life completely, if possible, of course. Establish boundaries, if necessary.
Take control of your emotions
We might feel like we can’t really stop ourselves when it comes to emotional eating. Maybe giving in is a way to release some pressure from everyday life and your job, where you have to be in control.
Maybe you just want to forget about whatever is eating you up, so you eat something instead.
Owning your emotions is hard. I know it first hand, but it is something we all have to deal with on daily basis. Smothering them with food or drink is not the answer. So let’s put on a brave face and deal with whatever is pushing us into emotional eating.
Good luck!
And I hope this helps at least some of you!
P.S. If you feel like you can’t deal with this alone, let me know! Contact me here!
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